Monday, December 24, 2007
Christmas Card
Merry Christmas to anyone who stops by! I hope all of you have a wonderful day celebrating the birth of our Savior, our Hope, our Lord, Jesus. I love you! <3
Saturday, December 22, 2007
The Water Cycle
Water. Endless stream
flowing, unaware. Relaxation,
no fear. Until the current
pulls faster. A moment of
panic and terror.
Water. Cacading over
jagged rocks, complete
terror. Innocence maimed
by sharp tongues of
hatred, falling, tumbling
into the murky pool. Darkness
blinding tiny droplets,
choking, gasping, sobbing,
struggling. Up and down,
left and right, all
the same.
Water. Reaching the top
and seeing sunlight
through the trees. Calmly
floating over smooth rocks
where healing awaits. Surrounded
by more water, basking in
the sun, finding peace, crying
with happiness.
Water. Flying into
the clouds, ready to fall
gracefully into that
steady stream, more prepared
for the insults and pain and
darkness. Knowing that sunshine
waits to restore.
flowing, unaware. Relaxation,
no fear. Until the current
pulls faster. A moment of
panic and terror.
Water. Cacading over
jagged rocks, complete
terror. Innocence maimed
by sharp tongues of
hatred, falling, tumbling
into the murky pool. Darkness
blinding tiny droplets,
choking, gasping, sobbing,
struggling. Up and down,
left and right, all
the same.
Water. Reaching the top
and seeing sunlight
through the trees. Calmly
floating over smooth rocks
where healing awaits. Surrounded
by more water, basking in
the sun, finding peace, crying
with happiness.
Water. Flying into
the clouds, ready to fall
gracefully into that
steady stream, more prepared
for the insults and pain and
darkness. Knowing that sunshine
waits to restore.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Prologue
Emilea, this is for you. You know that story I've been dying to write? It's finally starting to happen! This part here is the prologue, minus a possible lead-in from Ashelyn at the beginning (I'm still working that out). Let me know what you think. I tried to make it a little vague but give enough information so the reader isn't totally confused. Hope you like it!
Victoria swished her long, silky black hair off of her shoulder as she sat and swiveled in her desk chair. Letting out a small “Hmph!”, she opened her laptop and waited for it to load. She didn’t have to wait long. As the Clare, she was given the best technology, and better meant faster. She was soon able to pull up her email and check for new messages.
A beeping alerted her and she opened a window on her laptop. A teenage girl’s face appeared on the screen.
“Clare Victoria?” the girl asked cautiously.
Victoria sighed inwardly. This was Maude, her newest secretary. The girl had been working for her for two months and still hadn’t figured out how to not bother her.
“Maude, this had better be good,” she said with an edge in her voice. “I told you that I didn’t wish to be disturbed.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Maude stammered. She tucked a strand of honey blonde hair behind her left ear. “I told him that you were busy, but he insisted that he had an appointment.”
Victoria brightened instantly, a swift change from her earlier countenance. “Oh, yes, I am expecting him,” she said, although she hadn’t been expecting him until tomorrow. “Please, send him in in two minutes’ time.”
“Of course,” Maude replied, smiling. Her face disappeared from the screen.
Victoria quickly pulled out her brush and ran it through her long tresses. Then she carefully applied a little blush and dark cranberry lipstick. She wished she had time for mascara, but he didn’t really care how she looked. And he saw her almost all the time anyway.
A knock sounded at her door and she trilled, “Come in!” The door opened with a small squeak—-she would have to tell her maintenance staff about it—-and a young-ish man with a light brown complexion and short, wavy brown hair entered. He bowed smoothly and arose with a solemn smile on his face.
“Marcus at your service, Clare Victoria.”
Her heart skipped a beat, as it did anytime this man spoke. His voice was so deep and rich...she could listen to him for days! Willing herself to speak calmly, she rose gracefully and walked toward him. “You know that formalities are no longer necessary, Marcus.”
With a smirk, he reached out and squeezed her hand, then started caressing it with his thumb.
“However,” she added, sliding her hand out of his, “you also know that business comes first, not adoration.” She alighted into her swivel chair again and motioned for him to do the same. He sat in her other office chair and leaned back, putting his hands behind his head. Her breath caught. He looked so handsome in that position.
“Do you have information for me?” Victoria finally asked. Thank goodness her voice hadn’t squeaked!
Marcus grinned. “You’re beautiful.”
She tilted her head and looked at him with annoyance.
“Okay, okay. I have information for you.”
“Good, that’s what you’re here for. What sort of information?”
“Oh, just snippets.” He didn’t elaborate.
Victoria motioned for him to continue. “Snippets. Like, little pieces of information. Probably not even of consequence.”
She leaned forward and brushed the left side of his cheek with her fingertips. His eyes widened slightly and his breathing staggered. Victoria’s heart pounded in her chest. “Tell me,” she whispered, letting her hand drop.
Marcus breathed in deeply. He exhaled, “Here. I have a list.” He passed a notepad and pencil to her. “Follow along and let me know if I forget anything.
“I crashed a party at Stephanie’s house today. Do you know her?”
“Of course,” Victoria answered. How could she forget Stephanie, that beautiful young girl with strawberry-blonde hair with a smile that could warm the palace ballroom? “You should too. She was always over here hanging out with Alana.” She swallowed. “The two of them were like sisters and Alana was the maid of honor in Stephanie’s wedding.”
“So the two were close?” Marcus summarized.
“Obviously. They were inseparable. What did you find out at the party? It says here on the notepad that there were two things.”
Marcus looked up. “Small things. For one, Alana and Stephanie went out for lunch the day before she died. Alana gave her a framed picture of the two of them and her flash drive, and the two reminisced for a few hours.”
“Reminisced?” Victoria repeated. “Like she knew she was going to die the next day?”
He nodded. “That’s what I would assume. I mean, she rarely went anywhere without her flash drive and that was her favorite picture. And from what I heard, the meeting was very short notice. Stephanie protested because of her baby but Alana insisted that it was the only time they could meet.”
Victoria nodded as well, but fought back tears. “All the more reason to find her diary. She had to have known who was going to kill her and when.” She looked up at him. “What was number two?”
“Oh, yes,” Marcus continued. “Although Alana gave Stephanie the flash drive, Stephanie soon passed it over to Holly.”
“Holly? The English teacher?”
“Yes, exactly. I didn’t hear why Holly received it but—”
“It was probably just as you said, Marcus,” Victoria interrupted. “Nothing of consequence. Alana was a bright student. More than likely Holly asked if she could borrow the flash drive to show projects to her new students as examples. No big deal.”
“Maybe,” he conceded. “But why would she pass it on to Stephanie first? She could easily have taken it to Holly herself.”
“Again, since we think she knew she was going to die, she probably had more important things to do than spend some time with her English teacher. It would have been easier to pass it on to Stephanie first, which she did.”
“I would call Holly if I were you,” Marcus suggested. “There may be something on the flash drive that could help with our search for the diary.”
“Excellent idea.” Victoria swiveled to face her laptop, but Marcus grabbed her hand. “Not yet,” he said. “I have other information, too. And it’s not about Alana.”
Victoria felt her heart begin to beat faster with anticipation. She had a feeling of what Marcus was going to say next.
“I stopped by the children’s home today.” He gazed at her with happiness written all over his face. “I scheduled an appointment between you and Leah for next Tuesday at 10. I told them that you were interested in a certain newborn boy.” He watched as her face lit with excitement. “I explained that it was a little different than usual, but—”
Victoria squealed and threw her arms around him. “Marcus, this is wonderful! And so soon! I thought we’d have to wait longer or that he’d already be adopted by now.”
Marcus smiled. “No, fortunately I got there before they made any lasting decisions about what to do with him. I made up an elaborate story about why you want him. I’ll fill you in later.”
“Wonderful!” She turned to her laptop again and clicked to call her secretary. “Maude,” she said when the girl’s face appeared, “add Tuesday at 10 o’clock to my appointment book. I’m finally going to visit the children’s home.”
“Yes, ma’am,” she said. She scribbled a note to herself on a sticky note. “Can I do anything else for you?”
“Yes, please connect Holly to my visiphone. I need to have a short conversation with her. Oh,” she continued before Maude could answer, “also contact Stephanie for me and schedule lunch for the two of us within the next few weeks.” As Maude began punching in Holly’s number, Victoria turned to Marcus and asked, “Is there anything I forgot?”
“I suggested on the list that you make flyers asking the citizens to keep an eye out for the diary,” he pointed out.
“Oh, thank you for reminding me.” She turned back and said, “Maude, I’ll need you to print some flyers, send out some emails, and send some text messages about finding my sister’s diary. I’ll send all the information you need with Marcus and I’ll want three to five samples in about an hour.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Maude answered. “Would you like to speak with Holly now?”
“Yes, please.” Victoria’s phone flashed blue, indicating the call coming in.
Marcus stood to leave and lightly kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be back for dinner and then maybe we can…discuss some things afterwards.”
She blew him a kiss. “I’ll see you then.” She accepted the call on her visiphone as he walked out the door. “Hello, Holly,” she said to the face that appeared. “I had a few questions for you about Alana."
Victoria swished her long, silky black hair off of her shoulder as she sat and swiveled in her desk chair. Letting out a small “Hmph!”, she opened her laptop and waited for it to load. She didn’t have to wait long. As the Clare, she was given the best technology, and better meant faster. She was soon able to pull up her email and check for new messages.
A beeping alerted her and she opened a window on her laptop. A teenage girl’s face appeared on the screen.
“Clare Victoria?” the girl asked cautiously.
Victoria sighed inwardly. This was Maude, her newest secretary. The girl had been working for her for two months and still hadn’t figured out how to not bother her.
“Maude, this had better be good,” she said with an edge in her voice. “I told you that I didn’t wish to be disturbed.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Maude stammered. She tucked a strand of honey blonde hair behind her left ear. “I told him that you were busy, but he insisted that he had an appointment.”
Victoria brightened instantly, a swift change from her earlier countenance. “Oh, yes, I am expecting him,” she said, although she hadn’t been expecting him until tomorrow. “Please, send him in in two minutes’ time.”
“Of course,” Maude replied, smiling. Her face disappeared from the screen.
Victoria quickly pulled out her brush and ran it through her long tresses. Then she carefully applied a little blush and dark cranberry lipstick. She wished she had time for mascara, but he didn’t really care how she looked. And he saw her almost all the time anyway.
A knock sounded at her door and she trilled, “Come in!” The door opened with a small squeak—-she would have to tell her maintenance staff about it—-and a young-ish man with a light brown complexion and short, wavy brown hair entered. He bowed smoothly and arose with a solemn smile on his face.
“Marcus at your service, Clare Victoria.”
Her heart skipped a beat, as it did anytime this man spoke. His voice was so deep and rich...she could listen to him for days! Willing herself to speak calmly, she rose gracefully and walked toward him. “You know that formalities are no longer necessary, Marcus.”
With a smirk, he reached out and squeezed her hand, then started caressing it with his thumb.
“However,” she added, sliding her hand out of his, “you also know that business comes first, not adoration.” She alighted into her swivel chair again and motioned for him to do the same. He sat in her other office chair and leaned back, putting his hands behind his head. Her breath caught. He looked so handsome in that position.
“Do you have information for me?” Victoria finally asked. Thank goodness her voice hadn’t squeaked!
Marcus grinned. “You’re beautiful.”
She tilted her head and looked at him with annoyance.
“Okay, okay. I have information for you.”
“Good, that’s what you’re here for. What sort of information?”
“Oh, just snippets.” He didn’t elaborate.
Victoria motioned for him to continue. “Snippets. Like, little pieces of information. Probably not even of consequence.”
She leaned forward and brushed the left side of his cheek with her fingertips. His eyes widened slightly and his breathing staggered. Victoria’s heart pounded in her chest. “Tell me,” she whispered, letting her hand drop.
Marcus breathed in deeply. He exhaled, “Here. I have a list.” He passed a notepad and pencil to her. “Follow along and let me know if I forget anything.
“I crashed a party at Stephanie’s house today. Do you know her?”
“Of course,” Victoria answered. How could she forget Stephanie, that beautiful young girl with strawberry-blonde hair with a smile that could warm the palace ballroom? “You should too. She was always over here hanging out with Alana.” She swallowed. “The two of them were like sisters and Alana was the maid of honor in Stephanie’s wedding.”
“So the two were close?” Marcus summarized.
“Obviously. They were inseparable. What did you find out at the party? It says here on the notepad that there were two things.”
Marcus looked up. “Small things. For one, Alana and Stephanie went out for lunch the day before she died. Alana gave her a framed picture of the two of them and her flash drive, and the two reminisced for a few hours.”
“Reminisced?” Victoria repeated. “Like she knew she was going to die the next day?”
He nodded. “That’s what I would assume. I mean, she rarely went anywhere without her flash drive and that was her favorite picture. And from what I heard, the meeting was very short notice. Stephanie protested because of her baby but Alana insisted that it was the only time they could meet.”
Victoria nodded as well, but fought back tears. “All the more reason to find her diary. She had to have known who was going to kill her and when.” She looked up at him. “What was number two?”
“Oh, yes,” Marcus continued. “Although Alana gave Stephanie the flash drive, Stephanie soon passed it over to Holly.”
“Holly? The English teacher?”
“Yes, exactly. I didn’t hear why Holly received it but—”
“It was probably just as you said, Marcus,” Victoria interrupted. “Nothing of consequence. Alana was a bright student. More than likely Holly asked if she could borrow the flash drive to show projects to her new students as examples. No big deal.”
“Maybe,” he conceded. “But why would she pass it on to Stephanie first? She could easily have taken it to Holly herself.”
“Again, since we think she knew she was going to die, she probably had more important things to do than spend some time with her English teacher. It would have been easier to pass it on to Stephanie first, which she did.”
“I would call Holly if I were you,” Marcus suggested. “There may be something on the flash drive that could help with our search for the diary.”
“Excellent idea.” Victoria swiveled to face her laptop, but Marcus grabbed her hand. “Not yet,” he said. “I have other information, too. And it’s not about Alana.”
Victoria felt her heart begin to beat faster with anticipation. She had a feeling of what Marcus was going to say next.
“I stopped by the children’s home today.” He gazed at her with happiness written all over his face. “I scheduled an appointment between you and Leah for next Tuesday at 10. I told them that you were interested in a certain newborn boy.” He watched as her face lit with excitement. “I explained that it was a little different than usual, but—”
Victoria squealed and threw her arms around him. “Marcus, this is wonderful! And so soon! I thought we’d have to wait longer or that he’d already be adopted by now.”
Marcus smiled. “No, fortunately I got there before they made any lasting decisions about what to do with him. I made up an elaborate story about why you want him. I’ll fill you in later.”
“Wonderful!” She turned to her laptop again and clicked to call her secretary. “Maude,” she said when the girl’s face appeared, “add Tuesday at 10 o’clock to my appointment book. I’m finally going to visit the children’s home.”
“Yes, ma’am,” she said. She scribbled a note to herself on a sticky note. “Can I do anything else for you?”
“Yes, please connect Holly to my visiphone. I need to have a short conversation with her. Oh,” she continued before Maude could answer, “also contact Stephanie for me and schedule lunch for the two of us within the next few weeks.” As Maude began punching in Holly’s number, Victoria turned to Marcus and asked, “Is there anything I forgot?”
“I suggested on the list that you make flyers asking the citizens to keep an eye out for the diary,” he pointed out.
“Oh, thank you for reminding me.” She turned back and said, “Maude, I’ll need you to print some flyers, send out some emails, and send some text messages about finding my sister’s diary. I’ll send all the information you need with Marcus and I’ll want three to five samples in about an hour.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Maude answered. “Would you like to speak with Holly now?”
“Yes, please.” Victoria’s phone flashed blue, indicating the call coming in.
Marcus stood to leave and lightly kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be back for dinner and then maybe we can…discuss some things afterwards.”
She blew him a kiss. “I’ll see you then.” She accepted the call on her visiphone as he walked out the door. “Hello, Holly,” she said to the face that appeared. “I had a few questions for you about Alana."
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Shine
So I was thinking last night about how much I really want to shine for Jesus. There's this passage in Philippians 2: "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe..." I've always wanted to do that but never knew how.
Then I started thinking about the movie "Stardust", and how this girl, who's really a star, shines brightly and destroys the witch that wants to kill her (corny, but bear with me). As I thought about it I tried to find a way to use the movie as an example of shining, and it hit me.
Yvaine, the star, falls from the sky and meets a man named Tristan. He agrees to help her return to the sky if she will first go with him so he can show her to Victoria, the woman he loves. After a series of events they fall in love. Then Yvaine is kidnapped by a witch who wants to eat her heart because a star's heart can restore youth. Tristan goes to rescue her and after awhile there's the typical scene of the two lovers side by side about to be killed by the witch. Yvaine starts to wrap her arms around Tristan and tells him to close his eyes. When her arms touch his body, she is so happy to be with him that she shines blindingly and kills the witch. Afterwards, Tristan asks her why she didn't do it before, and she says, "I couldn't do it without you. I needed you with me." Then Tristan finds out that he's the only living heir to the throne of their country. He and Yvaine marry and become king and queen. (And they all live happily ever after.)
But do you see the parallels? Yvaine wants to shine, but she can't do it without the love of Tristan, a prince. I want to shine, but I can't do it without Christ, who loved me before anyone else. Sometimes I feel like I try to shine for God without ever saying, "God, shine through me." I try to do it on my own. But it doesn't really work, does it? We can't shine unless the Holy Spirit is in us.
There's this song called "Shine, Jesus, Shine". Here's the chorus:
Shine, Jesus, shine
Fill this land with the Father's glory
Blaze, Spirit, blaze,
Set our hearts on fire
Flow, River, flow
Flood the nations with grace and mercy
Send forth your Word
Lord, and let there be light
Jesus has to shine for us to shine. If He's living in us, I like to think that we're always glowing a little.
My friend Elizabeth read these verses from Isaiah 60:
1 "Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.
2 See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the LORD rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.
3 Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn.
4 "Lift up your eyes and look about you:
All assemble and come to you;
your sons come from afar,
and your daughters are carried on the arm.
5 Then you will look and be radiant,
your heart will throb and swell with joy;
the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
to you the riches of the nations will come.
19 The sun will no more be your light by day,
nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you,
for the LORD will be your everlasting light,
and your God will be your glory.
20 Your sun will never set again,
and your moon will wane no more;
the LORD will be your everlasting light,
and your days of sorrow will end.
We should all want to be like that. We should all want to shine and long for the day that we will be radiant in God's glory.
Shine, Christians, shine.
Then I started thinking about the movie "Stardust", and how this girl, who's really a star, shines brightly and destroys the witch that wants to kill her (corny, but bear with me). As I thought about it I tried to find a way to use the movie as an example of shining, and it hit me.
Yvaine, the star, falls from the sky and meets a man named Tristan. He agrees to help her return to the sky if she will first go with him so he can show her to Victoria, the woman he loves. After a series of events they fall in love. Then Yvaine is kidnapped by a witch who wants to eat her heart because a star's heart can restore youth. Tristan goes to rescue her and after awhile there's the typical scene of the two lovers side by side about to be killed by the witch. Yvaine starts to wrap her arms around Tristan and tells him to close his eyes. When her arms touch his body, she is so happy to be with him that she shines blindingly and kills the witch. Afterwards, Tristan asks her why she didn't do it before, and she says, "I couldn't do it without you. I needed you with me." Then Tristan finds out that he's the only living heir to the throne of their country. He and Yvaine marry and become king and queen. (And they all live happily ever after.)
But do you see the parallels? Yvaine wants to shine, but she can't do it without the love of Tristan, a prince. I want to shine, but I can't do it without Christ, who loved me before anyone else. Sometimes I feel like I try to shine for God without ever saying, "God, shine through me." I try to do it on my own. But it doesn't really work, does it? We can't shine unless the Holy Spirit is in us.
There's this song called "Shine, Jesus, Shine". Here's the chorus:
Shine, Jesus, shine
Fill this land with the Father's glory
Blaze, Spirit, blaze,
Set our hearts on fire
Flow, River, flow
Flood the nations with grace and mercy
Send forth your Word
Lord, and let there be light
Jesus has to shine for us to shine. If He's living in us, I like to think that we're always glowing a little.
My friend Elizabeth read these verses from Isaiah 60:
1 "Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.
2 See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the LORD rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.
3 Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn.
4 "Lift up your eyes and look about you:
All assemble and come to you;
your sons come from afar,
and your daughters are carried on the arm.
5 Then you will look and be radiant,
your heart will throb and swell with joy;
the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
to you the riches of the nations will come.
19 The sun will no more be your light by day,
nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you,
for the LORD will be your everlasting light,
and your God will be your glory.
20 Your sun will never set again,
and your moon will wane no more;
the LORD will be your everlasting light,
and your days of sorrow will end.
We should all want to be like that. We should all want to shine and long for the day that we will be radiant in God's glory.
Shine, Christians, shine.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
What's your name?
Joy
T.J.
Sahara
Annalee
Lila
Antonio
Calvin
Jasmine
What do you think of when you read this list? They're just random names, right?
Look at them again. Imagine who they could be. Write a story about them. How would they all fit together?
When I see these names, I envision in my mind a group of smart, National Honors Society types that sit at the same lunch table outside every day. Joy is recently moved from England and loves poetry. She has long blonde hair and a certain elegance about her. T.J. is an Indian teenager adopted by a Christian family who likes to write poems and short stories, but his favorite class is chemistry. He and Joy go out. Sahara is an African American girl who dresses stylishly and makes journals. Annalee has the studious look: glasses, hair always pulled back in a bun, rarely wearing jeans. Her favorite class is calculus and she is constantly doing math problems for fun. Lila is the visual artist in ripped jeans and tank tops, but still serious about school, especially history. Antonio is Hispanic and enjoys home economics courses. (He knows how to make Hispanic foods, so all he has to do is learn American foods!) Calvin is the all-around good guy, popular, vice-president of student council, a physics nerd. Jasmine is an Asian sweetheart who likes to sing and songwrite. Her favorite subject (besides chorus) is English with Joy and T.J.
Just names, but there are so many characters that can be pulled out of them! I have a feeling that, if I ever write a story about them, they'll pull me in a different direction.
What's your idea about them?
T.J.
Sahara
Annalee
Lila
Antonio
Calvin
Jasmine
What do you think of when you read this list? They're just random names, right?
Look at them again. Imagine who they could be. Write a story about them. How would they all fit together?
When I see these names, I envision in my mind a group of smart, National Honors Society types that sit at the same lunch table outside every day. Joy is recently moved from England and loves poetry. She has long blonde hair and a certain elegance about her. T.J. is an Indian teenager adopted by a Christian family who likes to write poems and short stories, but his favorite class is chemistry. He and Joy go out. Sahara is an African American girl who dresses stylishly and makes journals. Annalee has the studious look: glasses, hair always pulled back in a bun, rarely wearing jeans. Her favorite class is calculus and she is constantly doing math problems for fun. Lila is the visual artist in ripped jeans and tank tops, but still serious about school, especially history. Antonio is Hispanic and enjoys home economics courses. (He knows how to make Hispanic foods, so all he has to do is learn American foods!) Calvin is the all-around good guy, popular, vice-president of student council, a physics nerd. Jasmine is an Asian sweetheart who likes to sing and songwrite. Her favorite subject (besides chorus) is English with Joy and T.J.
Just names, but there are so many characters that can be pulled out of them! I have a feeling that, if I ever write a story about them, they'll pull me in a different direction.
What's your idea about them?
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Elohim and Tuesdays
Tuesday, November 21, 2006. Not an uncommon day. Two days before Thanksgiving, one year ago. I had just gotten out of school for the holidays and was at home alone. I'm sure that most people were thinking about family they were going to see, games they would watch on TV, activities they could do with friends after the family part of the break was over.
As for me, I was considering the different ways to commit suicide.
It was strange finding myself thinking about it. Looking back now I realize that I am way too analytical to get myself into that situation. I think too long about the consequences or how hard it would be to accomplish and I talk myself out of it. But at the time I couldn't find a way to turn.
And then God brought me back. He led me back to Himself and, as I fell prostrate before Him, He gently lifted me into His arms and whispered words of love. Without Him I would not be here today.
I read this poem in a book by Bryan Davis called "Eye of the Oracle." I would recommend it to anyone that is a Christ-follower and likes stories with Biblical meanings in them. It's beautiful and speaks of God's love for all of us and how, even though the world seems to be ending, God is still there to bless and comfort and love all of us.
In days gone by the water fell
And draped the world in silent death;
A rain of judgment drowned the eart
Demanding life and snatching breath.
But now the raindrops fall afresh
On hearts rejecting hate and sin,
In blessings crowned with love and grace
To heal the wounds of soul and skin.
The one who loves is Elohim,
Rejoicing now in song and dance;
I shout for you to come and play,
Enjoying love, the great romance.
So dance, my child, and feel my love
In rain, the healing drops of life.
Forsake your cares, your toils and pain,
The wounds and scars of slavish strife.
O cast aside the chains of grief
And reach for heaven's grace above;
Sapphira Adi, dance with me!
Enfold yourself in arms of love.
It was so beautiful the first time I read it that I had to read it again. Later in the book the same song is sung to Elam, a boy that has been led astray but is searching for truth. It was so wonderful the way that it says, although trials have happened and are happening, God is in it all.
I just finished a book called "Elsewhere" by Gabrielle Zevin. It shared a very interesting and somewhat confusing fantasy of life after death. A girl named Liz has just died at age 15 and gone to a place called Elsewhere, where everyone grows younger every year until they are babies and are reborn into Earth. Liz hates it at first, but later, when she's about 14, falls in love with Owen, who died when he was 26 and is now 17. The whole story is bittersweet in that they have only a few years to really enjoy a relationship. The plot jumps from age 14 to age 9, when, apparently, they're still going out, then jumps again to age 4, when the two seem to be good friends. Then Liz is reborn and Owen, a two-year-old, has this innocence of he's lost a dear friend, but doesn't understand that they may never see each other again. He just knows that she's gone.
I'm not sure where I was going with this. It just really made me think about life and death and purpose again. Liz had fifteen years in Elsewhere to fulfill her purpose and, though she did eventually, it seemed so short. I'm 16 and I have (hopefully) over 50 years ahead of me. How can I use those years to do what God wants me to do and feel satisfied? Why does it seem that life takes so long at some times and then I can't hold onto it long enough?
Then there's the concept of eternity. I don't even try to comprehend it. We will forever serve the Maker of the universe, our Abba, our Savior, our Lord and King. We will never die, only worship. How long is eternity?
You see why I couldn't commit suicide even if I wanted to. With thoughts like these swirling in my head, how can I ever wish to end something so precious that God has given to me? At least I should obey His will and wait until He takes me home. Otherwise, life is pointless.
As for me, I was considering the different ways to commit suicide.
It was strange finding myself thinking about it. Looking back now I realize that I am way too analytical to get myself into that situation. I think too long about the consequences or how hard it would be to accomplish and I talk myself out of it. But at the time I couldn't find a way to turn.
And then God brought me back. He led me back to Himself and, as I fell prostrate before Him, He gently lifted me into His arms and whispered words of love. Without Him I would not be here today.
I read this poem in a book by Bryan Davis called "Eye of the Oracle." I would recommend it to anyone that is a Christ-follower and likes stories with Biblical meanings in them. It's beautiful and speaks of God's love for all of us and how, even though the world seems to be ending, God is still there to bless and comfort and love all of us.
In days gone by the water fell
And draped the world in silent death;
A rain of judgment drowned the eart
Demanding life and snatching breath.
But now the raindrops fall afresh
On hearts rejecting hate and sin,
In blessings crowned with love and grace
To heal the wounds of soul and skin.
The one who loves is Elohim,
Rejoicing now in song and dance;
I shout for you to come and play,
Enjoying love, the great romance.
So dance, my child, and feel my love
In rain, the healing drops of life.
Forsake your cares, your toils and pain,
The wounds and scars of slavish strife.
O cast aside the chains of grief
And reach for heaven's grace above;
Sapphira Adi, dance with me!
Enfold yourself in arms of love.
It was so beautiful the first time I read it that I had to read it again. Later in the book the same song is sung to Elam, a boy that has been led astray but is searching for truth. It was so wonderful the way that it says, although trials have happened and are happening, God is in it all.
I just finished a book called "Elsewhere" by Gabrielle Zevin. It shared a very interesting and somewhat confusing fantasy of life after death. A girl named Liz has just died at age 15 and gone to a place called Elsewhere, where everyone grows younger every year until they are babies and are reborn into Earth. Liz hates it at first, but later, when she's about 14, falls in love with Owen, who died when he was 26 and is now 17. The whole story is bittersweet in that they have only a few years to really enjoy a relationship. The plot jumps from age 14 to age 9, when, apparently, they're still going out, then jumps again to age 4, when the two seem to be good friends. Then Liz is reborn and Owen, a two-year-old, has this innocence of he's lost a dear friend, but doesn't understand that they may never see each other again. He just knows that she's gone.
I'm not sure where I was going with this. It just really made me think about life and death and purpose again. Liz had fifteen years in Elsewhere to fulfill her purpose and, though she did eventually, it seemed so short. I'm 16 and I have (hopefully) over 50 years ahead of me. How can I use those years to do what God wants me to do and feel satisfied? Why does it seem that life takes so long at some times and then I can't hold onto it long enough?
Then there's the concept of eternity. I don't even try to comprehend it. We will forever serve the Maker of the universe, our Abba, our Savior, our Lord and King. We will never die, only worship. How long is eternity?
You see why I couldn't commit suicide even if I wanted to. With thoughts like these swirling in my head, how can I ever wish to end something so precious that God has given to me? At least I should obey His will and wait until He takes me home. Otherwise, life is pointless.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Fresh Pineapple Spritz
Note: This title is especially for my sister Emilea, who tried to convince me to use it for my overall title. It didn't work. Emilea, I hope my new title suits you.
Life is such a strange web of events, a winding road with many choices. I know there are some paths I wish I could backtrack, but life is unfair in that once you experience something, you can't go back to it. Like a favorite memory you can't relive or a nightmare you wish you could start over, your life is forever changed by every little choice.
It's funny. Today I went to see August Rush with Emilea. It was fabulous! I wanted to go back and watch it again. But I also knew, deep down, that it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't have the same thrill. It's the way life works.
I wondered as I dressed this morning, should I spritz myself with Fresh Pineapple or Pearberry? As the title of this blog suggests, I chose Fresh Pineapple to match the lip gloss I got for free at Bath and Body Works yesterday. I could have easily chosen to wear Pearberry. How different would today's experience have been? I doubt that anyone noticed that my perfume and lip gloss were the same flavor.
Ah, the way we look back at the past instead of forward to the future, or even enjoy the present while we still have it. I wish I could go back and carpe diem what has already happened. The truth is, that's what I'm doing, and what I'll continue to do as the present slips through my fingers into the elusive past.
Stop running to the end of the winding road and looking back as you do. Take time to cherish the time you have to walk the road and take in the scenery.
Fresh Pineapple...what food for thought.
Life is such a strange web of events, a winding road with many choices. I know there are some paths I wish I could backtrack, but life is unfair in that once you experience something, you can't go back to it. Like a favorite memory you can't relive or a nightmare you wish you could start over, your life is forever changed by every little choice.
It's funny. Today I went to see August Rush with Emilea. It was fabulous! I wanted to go back and watch it again. But I also knew, deep down, that it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't have the same thrill. It's the way life works.
I wondered as I dressed this morning, should I spritz myself with Fresh Pineapple or Pearberry? As the title of this blog suggests, I chose Fresh Pineapple to match the lip gloss I got for free at Bath and Body Works yesterday. I could have easily chosen to wear Pearberry. How different would today's experience have been? I doubt that anyone noticed that my perfume and lip gloss were the same flavor.
Ah, the way we look back at the past instead of forward to the future, or even enjoy the present while we still have it. I wish I could go back and carpe diem what has already happened. The truth is, that's what I'm doing, and what I'll continue to do as the present slips through my fingers into the elusive past.
Stop running to the end of the winding road and looking back as you do. Take time to cherish the time you have to walk the road and take in the scenery.
Fresh Pineapple...what food for thought.
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